I spent the first week of October in New York City.  It was a fairly enjoyable experience and I spent my time visiting museums, seeing shows, and eating out in restaurants.  One thing that could have been better was that we stayed in a youth hostel in Times Square, and learned that the middle of the night is the preferred time for construction projects in “the city that never sleeps”.

Something else that might have been better was the feeling of energy.  Over the week I started to feel a kind of “wave” sensation in my body, and it only got more intense as the week went on.  I noticed it mostly in the hostel and assumed it was related to some sort of negative energy hanging around that I was sensitive to.  I tried to do my energy clearing techniques, imagining the room filled with white light and inviting any lower entities to leave.

I’d feel better for a few minutes, or maybe even the night, but then it would start up again.  It started to be very wearing on my adrenal system, since part of me was constantly reacting to energy and I couldn’t ever really rest.  I thought maybe it was the energy of New York City, either from the busyness of Times Square or leftover from tribal devastation and the revolutionary war.

I was eager to come back to Portland, where whole hours could pass free from the sounds of traffic, construction, or people.  However, upon my return the feeling only continued to intensify, and I wondered if I had picked something up in New York and taken it home with me, like an energy bug.

I presented the issue at the start of class to my Tai Chi teacher, David, who has studied energy systems intensively for 35 years.  He said it sounded like I was resisting something, to focus on relaxing in response to the feeling and allow it to flow through me.  At the end of the hour and a half Tai Chi practice, I felt stable and solid again.  The wave feeling had let go and I was able to genuinely relax.

Then that evening as I was walking through the kitchen, the feeling returned suddenly and almost knocked me over.  It was like being hit by a giant wave, and I held onto the counter until it subsided back to the “normal” feeling of a constant rise and fall.  The next day I had acupuncture, also with David, and reported to him what had happened.  He did muscle testing and other things to show that all this energy I was dealing with had nothing to do with New York or any external event.  It was all inside me.

The body serves as a communication device between the conscious and unconscious self.  I know this, in fact, it’s a driving aspect of my business as someone who reads how things live in people’s bodies.  I just usually think of this as a way to understand the source of chronic and acute pains, not the feeling of energy waves.

Apparently my unconscious was trying to process some information that had come to me more than a week before I even left for New York, and it was having trouble handling it.  This explains why the feeling slowly built over time, and my efforts to “clear” it didn’t work.  I don’t know but I will guess that part of the “psychic package” that goes along with sensing energy as I do means that when my unconscious has trouble processing something, it manifests through the adrenal system.

What inspires me to write about it here is the awareness that in the psychic community there’s a whole lot of time devoted to dealing with “negative energy”.  We do things to protect against, clear, transform, detach, and more to stop all the “negative energy” that’s running around.  Before my session in acupuncture I would have sworn my youth hostel was haunted or held some sort of negative energy that hadn’t been processed.  Then I discovered it wasn’t negative at all, only something that on an instinctive level I was having trouble integrating.

I would like to suppose that we in the psychic community presume much when it comes to sensing energy, and we may take actions in reaction that reinforce negative concepts more than we mean.  Everything comes from Source, meaning there is no “other”, and nothing to protect against.  I harmed myself and slowed my process by trying to resist the wave feeling.  By relaxing, allowing it to be present, and opening my heart, I was able to integrate a disowned part of myself and become more whole.

I propose that as we open our hearts and connect into Source, the illusion of separation disappears and we have nothing to protect against.  Before David knew the details of what was happening, he said I should focus on accepting it and let go of resistance.  Practicing this consciously during Tai Chi was enough to relieve the feeling for a few hours, and after I understood more of what I was experiencing I was able to open my heart more fully and allow it to process through my body without resistance.

Protection delays progress, acceptance accelerates it.  We’re all Source, all connected, all one.  Open your heart to this truth, and all shadows disappear in the light.