“The purpose of life is to discover your gift. The work of life is to develop it.
The meaning of life is to give your gift away.”
― David Viscott
“What is my purpose?” has become almost a catchphrase, as people at all stages of life imagine there is something more and better for them to be doing.
There is an almost fantasy of finding the “right” work, that clicks perfectly with who you are as a person. Like being born to be a musician, and no matter what will always play music, or write, or do science.
People in search of their own purpose see others living theirs all around them. They know it’s not a fantasy, people really do live their life with passion, doing what they love.
The lost person imagines finding their purpose will feel like a bolt of lightning, waking them up out of humdrum existence into truly living, that finally they will find what more there is to life.
So why can it be so hard to find?
If purpose is the thing we were born to do, and the idea of it creates an itch that begs to be scratched, why do some people have so much trouble finding it?
After seven years of doing life purpose readings, teaching purpose activation classes, writing a book on the subject, and living my own purpose, I have 3 answers:
1. It feels boring.
2. It feels scary.
3. It feels weird.
And usually all three at once.
In the My Story page of my website, it sounds like finding my purpose was the bolt of lightning experience most purpose-seekers crave. I tell about visions, insomnia, weight loss, and ecstasy.
However, the flashy story is not how I actually discovered my purpose. Quite the opposite.
The truth is I’d been doing psychic readings with bodywork all my life. I didn’t notice because when something is so wired into who you are as a person, as purpose always is, it feels normal, like being in a familiar room.
You don’t particularly notice the furniture and layout of your living room even as you engage it every day. It simply is. Such a normalcy can make purpose seem small, unimportant, or like it’s not even there. So when I would counsel clients during their massage sessions, as happened frequently, it never occurred to me there was something special about my insights.
This is also why when I’ve given readings that named people as event organizers, yoga instructors, musicians, and more they’ve said, “that’s just what I do”, with a kind of disappointment. “You mean my purpose is that thing I already do every day? Where’s the magic?”
That’s the part where it feels boring.
For others, who’s self-expression was not well supported in childhood, such a reading can be terrifying. Instead of it being the thing they’ve always just done, it’s the thing they’ve always wanted to do but felt wrong for wanting. Many people have come to tears, shocked to finally receive permission to be an acupuncturist, fitness instructor, or artist. “I always thought I was being silly”.
They feel the magic of it immediately because it’s been denied. But it’s so scary they usually need extra support to actually take steps toward it.
As for the weird part, that’s how I realized I was psychic. Until January 18th 2009, for me being psychic had been so boring as not to notice, and so weird as to not be recognized when it clearly asserted itself. And finally opening to it was scary.
The feeling of realizing my purpose was not lightning, it was of being foolish. At the workshop where I discovered my gift, I wasn’t told I was psychic. I was told to work on someone. The psychic reading came on its own, and I felt ridiculous saying the many things I started to see.
However, I was so desperate for my purpose I was willing to be weird. It was that surrender that allowed me to cross the threshold into recognizing my gift, where I stumbled into the little ditch I’d been avoiding all my life and let myself shine.
My suggestion to you or anyone you know who is seeking their purpose and feels lost, let yourself be foolish. Do the thing that seems silly, unimportant, you’ve always wanted to try but feared what people would say. Just for a second, let yourself be weird.
Try it, and see what happens.
Purpose can feel scary, weird, and unimportant because it is rooted in personal power. In order to discover it, you have to surrender to the thing that makes you unique, which is an intense proposition. Everyone wants to be special, nobody wants to be different.
To help, I’m teaching two classes on Life Purpose Activation this month, January 10th and 27th. There I will cover:
- The nature of purpose beyond what you do
- Why many people don’t have one “thing” , and what to do if you’re one of them
- How to discover the magic if your purpose is “boring”
- How to start living your purpose today, even if you still have no idea what it is
I am also doing several events this month where you can receive a small reading for free or very low cost that will name your purpose, what blocks you, and best steps from here.
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